The soft sound of his breathing and the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the glass window seem to become a melodic tone. My breath halted, enhancing the sound and soon my heart joined in the soft song, making it so perfect I would hate when it ended.
So I just enjoyed it for as long as I could and as I listened he began to stir, tossing and turning and at the end of a lovely song, started a cry for help.
I rise from my spot at the window and came to his aid but he was still trapped in what ever bad dream he was held captive in. I knelt by his side on the floor and tried hushing him with soft whispers of comfort but it seem to make it worst. I was tempted to wake him but startling someone having a nightmare felt like it wouldn’t go so well.
So I call his name softly, “Ian…Ian?”
Suddenly his body shot up in a sitting position, startling me back as he growled loudly. From the floor I could see his skin become tight and strain over the large throbbing veins in his arms, neck, and forehead. His profile in the dark, shadowed by the light from the moon, showed a much more hollow, long bone structure.
His heavy breathing was now the only sound in the room and worried I sat up slowly, speaking his name as gently as possible so not to scare him any farther then he seemed now. “Ian?”
He turned to me, his pale blue eyes illuminated in the darkness, a show of fear and unfamiliarity, but only for a moment. As soon as his eyes locked on mine, the light was diminish in his. Recognition registered in his eyes. He fell back onto the bed, groaning loudly to himself, hiding his face in his hands, ashamed.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “So sorry.”
I crawled back over to be by his side, softly coaxing him, grabbing one of his hand that hid his face, while my other hand brushed the hair sticking to his forehead away. “For what?” I asked to get him to say something, anything.
“For scaring you,” he said turning his head on the pillow to look at me.
I shook my head, taking the hand he let me hold and said, “I know no fear when it comes to you.”
He looked at me questionably. “Alayna,” he sighed.
“Okay,” I say. “I was scared but not for me, for you. One moment your sleeping peacefully and then the next your about to phase.”
He groaned again and turned away to look up at the ceiling, holding my hand tightly.
“What’s going on Ian?”
He sighed again and turned to look straight in my eyes as he said, “I’m at war, Lay. Battling the monster in me that wants to be set free.”
Ian looked so ashamed to admit it and looked to me for any signs of fear on my part but I stayed by his side, holding his hand closer to my chest where my heart beat to the soft rhythm of his breathing. “And what’s so wrong about doing just that?”
His eyes bugged out as he asked, “are you serious, Alayna?”
I nodded, a soft smile playing at my lips. “Look at what just happened. I nearly had a panic attack watching you apparently have a war with yourself and I don’t like that feeling. Nor do I like seeing you this way. Ian…I think it’s time to accept what you are.”
I silenced him with a raise of my free hand. “Before you say you accept who you are, let me tell you, I know you don’t. Ian you are of animal descendent. You phase at your own will. So phase. Be what nature intended you to be.”
“I’m not a monster and I don’t want to be.” He said plainly.
I looked at him deeply in the eyes and could see he really thought being his other form was monstrous, so I thought of the right words to say. “My father was a wise man of wise words. And he told me once, to watch for the man who couldn’t help be who he is. But beware of the man that chooses to do the things he does. So you Ian, human or not will never be a monster as long as this,” I say placing my free hand at the center of his chest where his beating heart thudded away, “stays true.”